This is such a difficult topic to discuss for most people and yet I feel it needs to be had. For so many people suicide seems like the only option. Wether it is mental anguish or chronic pain, or just the feeling of something horrific and never ending. First of all if you feel like this, or if this is where you are headed or where you are please follow this link it is the suicide prevention line. You can call or chat with someone 24/7. If you live outside of the U.S.A here is a list of numbers by countries. Please I implore you to call, someone loves you and it will get better. I know how hard it is to imagine that, when your feeling so alone and overwhelmed, but it is the truth.
For those thinking of Suicide due to pain please tell your doctors, be honest with them. I am aware that a lot of you have been abandoned by your doctors and you are forced to find new ones in some cases, please talk to someone though preferably someone equipped to help. You can also call pain advocacy groups, local churches, or your local mental health facility. Just to name a few they can either help you or in most cases will help you find resources in your community that may help. Please don't give up I know it seems bleak, but it is starting to gain attention on state and national levels.
Just to name a few. Please google it and you will see what I am talking about. Doctors are fighting with us and some congress people are looking into it,, and Human Rights is now investigating, so we are making headway out there. Just hang in there, brighter days are ahead.
For those here for information about suicide here we go. Suicide is currently at a 30 year high in the U.S. as of 2016 the modest number of suicides was 44,965. I say modest because suicide is under reported in most cases. Suicide is not always apparent especially when there is no note and no reason to suspect suicide. Especially when their method of suicide is overdose, by using the pills they are prescribed or the illicit drugs they may be on.
From 2006-2011 a Sample was taken from 950 hospitals it showed that emergency departments dealt with 68,685 intentional overdoses. Then ask how many people a year are committing suicide and not being accounted for?
This is the best list I can find, it includes everything you could think of including how to talk to a suicidal person.
My personal story:
This story contains a very open account of my suicide attempt and it involves self harm.
When i was 18 I had a break down of sorts this is before I was diagnosed with bipolar. I was in such a dark place and I was all alone. The mental anguish I was in was manifesting in a very physical way my whole body hurt and no matter how I tried I couldn't sleep. I was trapped in this emotional hell and I had absolutley no respite. My mom suspected I was suicidal before she left out of state, but when she asked I was very calm when I told her no. It was my chance to end the suffering. I still for the life of me can not understand why she left knowing how bad off I was and knowing I had absolutley no one to ask for help. I was so depressed i had to take a leave of absence from work. I was seeing a therapist twice a week and I had a psychologist who was trying to find the right combo of psychoactive drugs that would work, but nothing seemed to help. The Dr. tried paxil and it just made me worse. I couldn't sleep at all and I was so depressed that I couldn't even get off the couch. I could not be bothered with the menial chores of showering, eating, or moving really. I fed the fur babies and went back to the couch. I remember collapsing on the floor and just crying uncontrollably and thinking how could anyone expect me to live in the emotional pain I was in. There was no light at the end of the tunnel for me it seemed. No one gave a shit obviously or I wouldn't have been alone. So why should I continue to live in this condition? It seemed like everytime I would try to crawl out of the hole I was in i just ended up deeper than when I started. I couldn't stand it anymore how could God fault me? How could God ask me to live in such pain? Why wasn't he helping me through this? I begged for His help and nothing. Finally I said to hell with it all I grabbed my brand new razor blade and crawled into the bath tub. I knew my mom would be home in time to take care of the animals soon so whats the point they really didn't need me anymore either. I crawled into the tub and filled it with Hot water and started to cut. I couldn't feel the physical pain through the emotional pain I was in. Now I know that what I was doing were called confidence cuts. My legs, my breast, my stomach, my arms, and wrist. I didn't need stitches for anything but I was covered in shallow cuts. I really don't know how long I was in the tub for. I remember trying to cut my wrists, but the razor wouldn't even break the skin, I would press down and run the blade across my wrist as hard and as fast as I could and nothing. I did this several times my wrist were covered in redmarks from the blade, but the skin wouldn't break. My dog had been sitting next to the tub the whole time I was in the tub and I put the blade to my wrist in frustration looked at my dog told him how much I loved him and right before I ran the blade across my skin my dog put both his feet in the tub and started licking me. It is like I snapped out of a trance when that happened. The water was cold and I looked down at myself covered in blood. I was so lost in my world of anguish and pain and I still couldn't feel the cuts, but it seemed to me with the intervention of my dog and the fact that the blade would not cut my wrist that it was divine intervention. Who really knows what it was, but I crawled out of the tub cleaned myself up and immediatly started looking for help. I had all these animals to care for and I had no money to put them in a bording facility. Finally someone gave me a number to people who pet sat and would come into your home and take care of the animals. When I called them and explained my situation they agreed to help. My dog hated almost everyone and would never let anyone in my house when I was not home miraculously liked them. When they got to my house they saw what kinda shape I was in and helped me bandage the worst of my cuts.....turns out they were both R.Ns who had retired. They took me to the inpatient facility and dropped me off so I didn't have to call the cops on myself. Finally I was given some medical attention and a sleeping pill. It took three days to be stable enough to leave. I probably should have stayed longer in hindsight, but the food was terrible and my mom was back home. It took about a year to get through it, meds didn't save my life at least not the kind that get prescribed by a doctor. Instead I made a friend and she would drag me from this party to that party. I was still depressed and had a difficult time with my moods, but she saved my life. My light at the end of the tunnel. I am now married to the love of my life and I have two amazing children and a few people I consider friends. I still battle with suicidal ideation as I am bipolar and I will always have mood swings and sometimes they can be really bad. What helps now is talking to my husband when I get like that. He always listens to what I am saying no matter how crazy it sounds and he simply reassures me that he loves me and that we will get through this. He tells me how life would be different if I were to cease existing in the world. That he understands my pain, but how even in that condition I am not a burden. That is really the most important thing a suicidal person needs to hear is how they are cherished no matter what condition they are in and how they are not a burden to your life. Don't just listen, but actually hear what they are telling you. Forget about thinking how you are going to respond just hear them and let your love shine through you. Never leave someone who is activley suicidal alone. Getting through that alone was the hardest thing I have ever done and it was all for my dog.